Things are going okay. I am struggling with low milk supply, but whatever I am getting, I am pumping diligently hoping that one day I will be seeing the golden 5 oz mark on the bottle each time I pump. May God give me the strength to go on, despite the odds. Managing a kid, her school, lunch dinner, remembering to take the medicines on time, and yet pump and pump and pump.

I just keep myself going by saying to myself over and over again... every little drop counts!

Consuming more, making more

It's day 20, and I have made a little progress by the way of making milk. I am able to collect about half an ounce at the end of the day. I haven't been able to stick to the two hourly schedule, and there are days when I don't get to pump more than three times, but I pump everyday for sure, whenever I get the chance. Mostly my baby's demand to be carried around all day is the major deterrent, but hey, I am doing this for her. No point bringing in the milk and jeopardizing our relationship. I try and pump whenever she is asleep, or there is someone who can look after her for the half an hour it takes for me to pump.

Half an ounce is not good, but it's not bad either. Add to the previous recipes, a dink laddoo and methi laddoo. It almost seems as though I am eating through the day. Oddly, I haven't put on weight corresponding to the amount and the kind of food (read: fatty) I am eating. Which probably (and hopefully) means that I am producing milk, and gearing up to produce more.

I am hoping to reach at least the one ounce count by the end of the month. By 28th of January that is. Anyway, I am happy that my baby gets at least half an ounce of my breast milk a day, which is better than nothing at all!

Day 11

I bought alfalfa sprouts from the local supermarket today. Apparently they have a galactagogue effect, which means they increase the breast milk supply in lactating women, when consumed in moderate quantities. Apart from that, I wanted to share the schedule and diet I am on.

Diet:

• A well balanced healthy diet consisting of chapatis with ghee, salads, and  fruits
• upto 8 glasses of water
• 6 tsp of fenugreek seeds. I divide it into one tsp doses every couple of hours.
• Domperidone 10mg - 3 tabs 3x a day
• 2 cups of bajra raab - recipe below
• 2 tsp of lactonic granules in each cup of bajra raab
• 3 to 4 lactation cookies a day

I also pump for 15 minutes every two hours, on each side. I have a single pump, which means it takes me 30 minutes per pumping session, and after an hour and a half, I have to do this all over again.

Sometimes I am not able  to stick to the two hourly schedule. In that case, I try and make up for it by pumping every hour. It seems like a lot of pumping, and on days (and nights) when the little one has cold, like she does now, it seems like I never get any sleep at all. Sleep is vital for lactation, which is why I skip pumping in the night, even when it is said that prolactin levels are highest at night. I try instead to pump at seven in the morning, promptly after I wake up, even before I brush my teeth.

Whoever said it was easy. But my efforts are beginning to show. In what was earlier a dismally empty bottle, with my husband looking at me as though I had gone crazy, now he gets to see what is milk, real breast milk in the bottle. Even though it isn't much, it is there. Which is proof enough, that my efforts are paying off, slowly but surely. I'll get there, someday, when I am finally able to fill all my baby's bottles with my breastmilk.

All this after a breast reduction surgery I had over three years ago. So if someone asks me if relactation is possible, even after a  surgery... Yes! It is very much possible. How successful is what remains to be seen. I just hope that three years from now, I find all this worthwhile.

Day 10

Being able to collect little drops to feed my little one, heavenly! I didn't know if relactation would work, but here I am, collecting tiny drops of liquid gold to feed my baby. I wish I was armed with this information during Saee's time, then i'd have been able to feed her as well. :-(

Sayalee once again latched on for about five minutes like a pacifier before going to sleep. Thank God for little mercies. I pumped immediately after but little milk came out, which means she got most of it. Now I know what they mean when they say that baby stimulates and empties the breast better than any pump in the world!

Day 9

Hope and a little sprinkling og faith. It is cumbersome to even try this without hope and faith. Hope that you will fully relactate and faith that baby will eventually latch on.

I am seeing a definite improvement in the quantity of milk I am producing. Definite but tiny improvement. I have to keep reminding myself that this takes time. It may take two months for the supply to come back. That may seem like too long a time and effort, but considering that I am planning to breastfeed for at least a year and half, two months seem worth the trouble.

For now I have managed to get Sayalee on to the breast as a pacifier. She nurses for around ten to fifteen minutes that way. I hope it manages to push my production up. A reason to celebrate today. I have also begun feeling letdown, fullness and heaviness in my breasts. I am hoping that by the end of the month I will be able to produce at least one ounce of milk per day.

Thank you God!

Day 8 - Drops of hope

So this is the end of the first week since I embarked on this rocky, really rocky road, and now I have gone from no milk supply to drops of milk oozing from both breasts. Definitely, that means that relactation works. Just remains to be seen is how many days will it take to produce full supply. I am desperate to see some milk collecting in the bottle. Without the post-partm hormonal boost, it is not easy, and looks like it will be a month before I see anything collecting in the bottle, and at least two before I get a decent production going.

Then again, I am not being able to pump as frequently as I'd like to.  With two kids, housework, neighbours calling at odd hours, and feeling bone tired and sleepy at night, pumping every two hours is a distant dream, but I am doing the best I can and pumping at every opportunity.

I just hope that I am able to successfully relactate, even if it is two months before I am able to replace t least a single formula feed a day. :-)

Day 4 - Minor breakthrough

So this is just the second day of pumping and fourth since the day I began this journey. I saw a drop on the right side today. It wasn't big enough to even wet the pump, but still, it was something. From nothing I have gone to a teeny weeny drop. That drop is enough to give me hope and encouragement that it will happen. If I am patient, and if I work hard, it will happen. Last night though, I didn't wake up for the midnight pumping. I want to make sure that I pump at night, even if it means staying up to pump and then going to bed.

Let's see what happens tomorrow. :-)